


Schoolplay Headcannons

by Higgles123



Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [8]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:47:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27006811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgles123/pseuds/Higgles123
Summary: Just a bit of lighthearted fun
Series: Peaky Blinders and Tom Hardy Character Headcannons and Alphabets [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971034
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Schoolplay Headcannons

  * Despite the fact that his child has no wish for the lead role and is in fact happy playing a tree, Alfie will lose his mind. How dare somebody cast his child as a tree?! A fucking tree! Do these teachers not see talent when they’re faced with it? Oh. That’s it. They’re intimidated by his child’s astonishing raw acting talent. Well that’s fine because his daughter’s going to be the most memorable tree that any school play has ever seen. She will be so realistic in fact that she could literally be planted in her costume in a park and nobody would be any the wiser.


  * And so the tree training begins. After school and weekends are spent with Raisa and Alfie sitting in parks and forests observing a variety of trees. “Be at one with the tree”. “What would a tree do in this sort of situation?” “No it wouldn’t just stand there like that… it would stand there proudly and elegantly, and it most definitely wouldn’t let that seagull shit on it.“


  * Then comes the costume. Alfie’s wife suggests they just put their daughter in brown trousers and t shirt and stick some felt leaves over her top half and her arms can stick out as branches. Alfie is appalled at her lack of creativity and of course has already taken matters into his own hands. His daughter isn’t being a shitty run of the mill tree, oh no. You see, he was watching Pocahontas with the kids the other night and it was as though God had sent him a sign when he saw that Grandmother Willow Tree. Now this was the sort of thing they needed to go for and luckily Ollie’s missus was a dab hand at making clothes so he would get her on it. Of course he would need to be there to oversee every single stitch to ensure it met with his vision and high standard. Ollie’s wife was more than happy to help but she didn’t count on being woken up at 3am on a Tuesday night by Alfie who had just had a sudden costume epiphany that couldn’t have waited until morning.


  * It’s time for the dress rehearsal and Alfie insists on being there to make sure that the costume doesn’t get destroyed and when he spots two girls from another class eyeing up the costume excitedly he’s over there in a flash. “Don’t think I don’t know sabotage when I see it. I’ll be keeping my beady eyes on you two.” The rehearsal commences and every two seconds Alfie has to interrupt the teacher because Raisa apparently isn’t in the best position on the stage. The poor exasperated teacher has to explain for the fifth time that all of the trees have to be together in the make shift forest, and that Raisa is already the most visible tree. That’s still not good enough though and Alfie suggests that they move his daughter to the front of the stage where she can be better seen by the audience. Of course the teacher exasperatedly points out that if they do that then the view of everyone else on the stage will be blocked. Alfie frowns. “And that’s a bad thing why?”


  * Finally it’s the day of the play and Alfie is a nervous wreck. “I ain’t nervous about our Raisa cos she’s a fuckin’ professional. Nah it’s them other little nose pickin’, bum scratchin’ shits I’m worried about. They’re gonna ruin this for Raisa and I just can’t have it.”


  * During the show Alfie eyeballs anyone who isn’t paying enough attention, and at one point the father of the boy playing the lead role starts taking photos with his expensive camera and Alfie jumps out of his seat ready to have a go at him for blinding Raisa and possibly making her lose concentration. Luckily Alfie’s wife is there to pull him back down into his seat and tell him to behave or else he’ll have to go home, but he spends the rest of the show watching out for anymore eager parents and their blinding photography equipment.


  * When the show is finished, Alfie makes a point of telling everyone just how wonderful his daughter was as the tree and that nobody else could have done it justice the way she did. He almost gets into a fight with one of the parents who mutters that the tree roles had obviously only been created to give the poor role-less children something to do in the play. Ava once again had to warn her husband behave and remind him that a school certainly isn’t the place for a fight, and especially not over something so trivial. Alfie backs down for the sake of his wife but he’s already made a mental note to find some dirt on the puny little man eyeballing him smugly and wipe that look off his face. Outside of school of course.


  * Alfie couldn’t be any more proud of his little girl, and before they leave at the end of the night he makes a beeline for the teacher with a whole lot of ideas for the next school play. "I found a wonderful little monologue that I think would really resonate with both adults and children alike, and my Raisa would deliver it perfectly”. The teacher smiles and nods politely as Alfie continues to give her idea after idea, all of which star his daughter as the lead role of course.


  * Strangely enough, the next day the school newsletter commends the children for their wonderful show but informs the parents that very sadly the school have decided to no longer put on any more shows and focus instead on other aspects of creativity. Alfie shakes his head at his wife and huffs. “I think you’ll find the real reason they’re not doing plays no more is cos all the other kids are too intimidated to share the stage with Raisa, and who can blame them? Not to worry cos she don’t need amateurs holdin’ her back anyway”.


  * I think we can all agree that when it comes to his children, Alfie Solomons has slightly lost the plot.




End file.
